Three years ago this May, while out riding in east San Diego County, I sped down hill missing the 15 mph left turn sign. I squeezed my rear brakes as I approached the corner between 25 and 30 mph and my back tire locked up, so I loosened them and squeezed my front brakes. My front tire started to skid. At that point I knew I was going to hit the guardrail. The next thing I knew, I had slammed into the guardrail at a 45-degree angle. I launched over the handlebars catapulting my bike about 20’ down the road and landing on my back… on the guardrail.

I fell to the ground on my back, I wiggled my toes, phew, but I could not get up. Moments later 2 friends arrived and within a few minutes, I had made it to my feet. With sharp pain shooting up and down my back I had to get a ride in the back of some guys pickup back to the general store.

A short time later I was lying in the trauma center of the hospital. Over 6 hours of tests would show numerous fractures on my ribs. Physically I was ok (and lucky) but mentally I was far from it. It would be three months later before I could get on a bike again and the flashbacks of hitting that guardrail would turn those three months into six or eight.

My story is merely one in a million of cyclist who crash, runners who get injured, or triathletes who get kicked in the face. These events happen to almost everyone, not just athletes. Maybe you have a family member who was in a car accident or maybe you know a police officer or fireman injured on the job. In all of these scenarios something traumatic happens and a lot of times, that event makes us want to quit. The fear of doing that activity, cycling, driving, firefighting, whatever it may be, weighs too heavy on the heart to get back out there.

What we need to realize is that the moment after the traumatic event happen, it is in the past and though it may take time, it is important to make peace with the past in order to move forward. Maybe you need to talk to someone about it, maybe you need to write about it, or maybe you need to go back to the place the event occurred and look around and see the event from a different prospective.

For me it was a 5-minute stop on a bike ride a couple days ago. Riding with a good friend, I stopped at the spot I crashed, I got off my bike and looked around. There was something calming and peaceful about the 5-minute stop. I had made peace with the past and the negative vision I associated with that place and cycling.

Are you someone who can relate to my story? Has something happened in your life that has made you stop doing something you used to love? First and foremost let me say, if you’re ready, it’s time. It’s time to re-visit that event, envision it, meditate on it, or talk to someone about it. There are an infinite number of ways to express the feelings you are having. Do whatever you are comfortable with and begin making peace with the past. It’s not something that happens over night, I am still not comfortable riding those curvy mountain roads. However, that part of me that kept saying, “cycling is too dangerous” has been silenced. Once you have made peace with that incident, you can slowly, but surely, begin to get back to doing that thing you love.

So, if you can relate, begin making peace with the past. If now is not the time, that is okay, but keep this in the back of your head. You will want to confront it at some point. If you cant relate, be a good friend to someone who can. Maybe all they need is to know you are willing to listen and help them through it.

Written by Jay Pedersen