As an athlete, don’t say goodbye to your farmer’s tan, say hello to how cool they are now…

As defined by Wikipedia.com:

A “farmer’s tan” is a specific type of tan line. The farmer’s tan is usually started with a sun tan coveringonly the arms and neck. The farmer’s tan is distinct in that the shoulders and back remain unaffected by the sun. Similar tan lines include the Texas tan or trailer tan, which is extremely similar, with the exception that the shoulders are also affected by the sun. The Texas tan or trailer tan is caused by working in the sun while wearing a muscle shirt or an A-shirt.

There used to be a time when tan lines were considered shameful or embarrassing due to their offensive contrasting nature, but the time has come to embrace this national pastime and accept it for what it really is – cool, awesome, bitchen, and even rad. If you already have an awesome farmer’s tan there’s no reason to be ashamed – it’s one of the byproducts of training outside. Even if you use a ton of sunscreen you’re still going to develop a nice contrasting farmer’s tan. It’s inevitable, so enjoy it. You’re an athlete, embrace it. Besides, it shows you have confidence in your body and that is rad in and of itself!

If some naysayer starts harassing you about your tan line show them who’s boss and stick it in their face. It’s hard to argue back when someone jokingly accuses you of having a hilarious farmer’s tan on both your legs and you simply reply in a very confident manner, “Yeah dude, I think its bitchen! I rode 120 miles yesterday and had a blast. Later Bro.” You see, there is no comeback possible and they are stumped at why their joke backfired on them. In fact, they’ll probably head outside and try to get a farmer’s tan of their own because of how cool and confident you sounded about yours.

A nice, beefy farmer’s tan (no pun intended) actually proves how much time you spend training outside under the sun. This is good for many reasons, getting your daily dose of vitamin D, and, if your coach ever questions whether you actually did your 5 hour ride over the weekend you can simply show them how much darker your tan lines are and simply say, “see?!” No questions asked. There are endless benefits to having a cool farmer’s tan than just proof of your long training days.

As athletes, we have enormous and exciting opportunities to create new farmer tan styles with the clothing and equipment we wear.

The following are examples of a few currently well known farmer tans…

Cyclist farmer’s tan – a nice, scintillating tan covering the arms and legs where a jersey top and bottom serve as the defining pattern line. All cyclists and triathletes should strive for this standard. The darker the tan lines on your leg the more seasoned rider you are.

Sock farmer’s tan – a bitchen tan line created by socks that go above the ankles. This tan line is shown only when you don’t wear socks, but it still looks like you’re wearing socks because of the tan line. A classic!

Raccoon eyes (also a member of the farmer’s tan family) – a cool tan line that develops when the sun is reflected off of the snow while you’re wearing goggles or sunglasses. Note: special preventative actions need to be taken if you called in sick to work and are returning the next day.

Hat farmer’s tan – a great tan line that occurs when you wear your hat and the sun tans everything except for the top portion of your forehead. A good example: Tiger Woods.

HR monitor strap farmer’s tan – another awesome tan line meticulously sculpted by your heart rate monitor chest strap and developed outside without your shirt on. Note: this tan line takes some time to build up so be patient, but once you achieve it, it will serve you for a long time.

Watch farmer’s tan (or GPS farmer’s tan) – also a classic, occurs by being outside and always wearing your wrist watch/GPS. A fun joke is to take off your watch and ask someone what time it is while looking at your watch tan! It is usually more funny to you than anyone else!

Race day farmer’s tan – a relatively new tan to the family but this one usually goes away after a few weeks because of its nature. It occurs during half and full Ironman events because of the time required out in the sun the day of your race. Whatever shape jersey you are wearing that day will be the outline of this pattern. Sunscreen protection is difficult on race days because of how many elements breakdown its protection, so be prepared because this one comes whether you like it or not.

Sandal farmer’s tan – another bitchen shape that follows the direction your sandals take to connect to your toes. A good Sandal tan takes longer to achieve because of the tender nature of the skin covering the top of your feet. However, when this tan is achieved and has a rugged, dark base its glory shines through for all to see!

If you have had any of the farmer tan styles above, you’ve experienced the personal satisfaction gained from your tanning achievements. Words cannot express nor describe the feeling of a solid farmer’s tan.

The next time you accidentally expose a portion of your arm or leg that has never seen the light of day, proudly look beyond that stunning brightness and find that crisp, defining line where the darkness begins. This is where two worlds collide, good vs evil. This is your farmer’s tan. Fertilize, grow, and culture this tan line, then proudly harvest it for everyone to see.

Written by Dave Platfoot